Peripartum Cardiomyopathy

So, I guess here is where I talk about it. I've already told a lot of the story of Malcolm's birth. I've already said how my life was in danger... a few times. I've really already said how much I appreciate everyone supporting Tim, and my family as they helplessly watched the rougher patches. But, I really haven't said much about the recovery. I have had good days and bad days. Some days my mom said my freckles disappeared because I was so pale. I never wanted to show any weakness, but Tim almost always knew. Until October, I would still get sick, and energy was hard to find. I hadn't gotten dizzy again until a week ago. I am glad it was a good sign, and am also glad the school nurse didn't let me drive home due to my low blood pressure.

First, if you want to know, PPCM is a very scary reality for some people. It involves going into heart failure, and the peripartum cardiomyopathy variety--which I have--comes without warning, without family history, and without much data to help people understand what is going on. Some get misinformation, and some are misdiagnosed. I am so fortunate to have a strong body, strong mind, strong family, and strong spiritual base to help me persevere. My doctors doing the right thing helped a little bit too. Though it really sucked not being able to feed my baby for almost a week when he was new, the lasix is what saved me. I lost 30 pounds in 3 days, and my heart didn't have to labor so much to get the fluids in my system around. A heart operating with an ejection fraction of only 20% can really do a number on a person's ability to be normal.

So, my previous blog entry about this actually indirectly put me in touch with the person who wrote the wikipedia article about said condition, and it's a neat coincidence that she is also L.D.S., and also introduced me to some amazing women on an online support group forum. Some people have really been through hell.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peripartum_cardiomyopathy

http://www.emedicine.com/med/topic292.htm

Oh, and here's on example of how crazy it can get for some people
http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_11073365

I don't feel like reliving those moments right now, but I am glad I have a readable blood pressure, that I can sit up, and not only that, but I can walk and talk and even run now!

Can I just say how grateful I am that I don't need a transplant. I also don't need a pacemaker, or any more medicines (well, I am weaning off of them).

In fact --insert sigh of relief here-- my cardiologist told me that my heart looks normal. If it still looks normal at my 1 year visit then I will be totally free of medication, and if I am still normal after that, well then I will avoid the hospital like the plague until my dying day.

So, I arrived at 2:00 p.m. on Wednesday.

I disrobed (why you always have to get naked at some point while at the doctor's, I will never understand) and slipped into something "more comfortable" and quite stylish, I think.


Then I was poked and prodded with the ECG machine. I thought it looked rather less menacing with the tinsel. (After my CT scan, which I think was my darkest hour, I don't think I shall ever complain about silly little procedures like this again...)


Then, I went to perhaps the best decorated room in the hospital. So clean, and so welcoming.... while I awaited the impending news.


It wasn't so bad after all. I am one of the blessed ones. My condition did not regress, it improved. My dizzy spell at work was actually my body reacting to being over medicated, again.


When I prayed to know if I should have a child, if it was right, there was no question anymore. The answer was overwhelming. Malcolm is my miracle. My family is stronger than ever. My husband is amazing, and I now know he will do anything for me. There was a reason for this, and I will never forget. I am so grateful for the looming finish line for this race, and am grateful even for the arduous journey.